Appearance Matters…. What do you think?

Appearance Matters. No matter how hard I try and combat these thoughts,  the inevitable remains that it does matter deep down to me. To us…

If it didn’t, we wouldn’t feel self conscious about our eczema. Be it flaky skin, uneven skin tone, hyperpigmentation after so much inflammation or the scars of eczema reminding us once more that it hasn’t gone yet…. But yet here I am trying to “fix” my skin,  fix a skin I didn’t choose to have. But why do I think it needs fixing? Does it need “fixing”?

When my eczema flared at the age of 16, I had the insecurities of a normal teenager (I think!). You know the need to fit in,  to feel pretty, to feel confident in your own skin and to feel accepted…. yet eczema made that hard. I was different and my face and neck showed it. I wanted to fit in but my eczema stopped me wanting to go out to do so…I feared the looks of rejection and disgust from my peers. I wanted to feel pretty but the mirror stopped me ever thinking that could happen. I wanted to be confident but instead I hid away feeling embarrassed,  ashamed… eczema as a teen was tough. I began University with it,  I made friends but the battle to look and feel normal remained. I just wanted to be normal! I didn’t want to worry about what alcohol might do to my skin,  I didn’t want to worry about having moisturiser on me all day and I just wanted a peaceful night’s sleep. I didn’t want to have to care for my skin with such dedication, I wanted it to be easy…I wanted normal skin to be easy to achieve. Eczema took its toll. I was angry, sad,  resigned to this skin and I wouldn’t accept it. I just wanted to be normal. I’m happy with my unique personality but still ingrained in me I have this desperate desire for normal skin…. My eczema is calmer than it has been for years without steroids yet here I am still not happy because the scars,  the acne…. My appearance is still not normal. I state at my loved ones clear complexions and wonder if I’ll ever have the chance to have that because whether I like the fact or not, appearance matters to me. I don’t want to be noticed for my eczema,  my scars.

Now the question I ask you is does appearance matter to you and how much does it impact on your eczema journey? Doyousharemydesiretobenormal? To lookgoodskin wise?If so, why?

What are your thoughts?

Comments
9 Responses to “Appearance Matters…. What do you think?”
  1. Jodie from Michigan says:

    I had someone ask me if I was a drinker because the redness was over my nose and cheeks. I valued her question because I was putting her under anesthesia and I would want to know the caretaker that was caring for me was a safe provider…. I told her “only on Fridays” and then explained to her my eczema issue. She was polite as I was. I find I have developed a witty comeback for idiots and polite ones when I am on duty……

    I was a model. The one thing that still I find I use is posture. Head back, chin up, shoulders back and whoever is looking at me I will smile and stare right back. No reasons. No excuses. Just confidence. Let them wonder what I am ;thinking….. A smile covers so much…… ;>) And they might just be thinking what a great walk she has!!!!!!

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  2. Patricia says:

    I feel self-conscious about my hands, but how I feel about my hands doesn’t mean others feel that way. I am happy they no longer look like lobster claws, even though I wear Minnie Mouse gloves in the office because the air is so dry. Such is life. I’ll have to wear long sleeves in the office all spring and summer, but oh, well! The A/C cranks all day anyway, so I’d need to wear layers, eczema or no. Anyone who judges me on my hands alone isn’t worth the bother and not nearly worthy enough of being part of my world.

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    • Selina says:

      Definitely agree. Like I think if people don’t accept us skin disorder, scars and all then they are not worth it, however it is still hard to take it when people stare….not matter how confident I feel when wlaking out of the house. I cannot help that feeling of embarassment when someone looks just a bit too long.

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      • Patricia says:

        I hear you. I just had to realize when my hands looked really, really bad that people were staring out of concern. I’d feel the same way when I would see their eyes flicker to my hands and then pull them away. “I have eczema,” I would say. Sometimes they would ask “Did you burn your hands?” No, it’s eczema. Now that they are looking better I do feel better. And the eczema did have one small silver lining. All the shedding of skin I did–I no longer have sunspots on my hands from the new skin i’ve generated. On another note: still oil pulling every morning. Didn’t help my eczema one bit, but I like my skin better in general since I started–softer.

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      • Selina says:

        Same here! Skin is softer. I got a bad cold though a fortnight ago. … Not sure if it was due to the oil pulling. … But im sure it has helped with my ears. I get wax build up and it has helped for definite! Maybe a month is just the beginning and continued use will show overall health improvements? I don’t mind it though so will continue

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      • Patricia says:

        I had weird gunk in the corners of my eyes every morning for weeks after I began oil pulling. Almost like I had a cold in my eyes although I had no cold. So I contributed that to the oil pulling and was glad that is all I had as a detox side effect.

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      • Selina says:

        I didn’t mind the cold if its helped my system. ..I just hope it has!

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  3. Manfred says:

    But remember Selina, that what matters the most is a pure heart, and not the husk that entraps our soul. Our society is one of low moral standards, that glorifies beauty, money, and alcohol. On this journey I have abandoned their ‘standards’ and sought the path to internal freedom. If we are grateful for what God has given us, we may yet discover the true joy of life 🙂

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    • Selina says:

      I agree! I try to mostly put my eczema and its struggle at the back of my mind, I am generally confident and not fearful of what others think….but sometimes I struggle to be confident whne someone stares just a little too long, or the eczema is more prominent on my visible face. Don’t get me wrong I am living, not hiding away but it doesn’t rid of the fact that sometimes I do wish I just had normal skin and didn’t feel self conscious that it is different….but I guess my eczema has made me who I am…made me more aware of what is important, what isn’t and made me stronger…guess that is a definite benefit!

      Like

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