Me, My skin and My Eczema: My updates

 

After posting my images I thought is about time I became a devoted blogger again.

 

I’m sorry for my lack of comments or acceptance of your comments and I will go through them shortly (there are a few hundred so please be patient!).

 

So what’s new with me?

Well firstly, I managed to secure a research post. In my hopes of becoming a psychologist (research or clinical I’m not quite sure yet), this has been such a relief as research experience is vital! I have had a lot of rejection this year. My own former workplace didn’t even give me an interview for a position, I was rejected from a few institutes for my masters and it just all felt a bit disheartening. I wondered “am I just not good enough?, “is there always going to be someone better”,” what do I need to do”. Funnily enough, when my workplace slapped me in the face, I emailed around many a place asking for anything really: voluntary work, part time work. Anything that would boost my CV and the position I have just shows that with determination (and patience don’t forget that!), it really is possible. They emailed me a few months later and hired me due to my enthusiasm. I think this has made me relax (even if only slightly) as I feel career wise its a step forward. I am also due to start my masters in September so things are hopefully panning out well. If you feel like you are in a rut, don’t lost hope! You can do it! WE just have to keep motivated! I feel that if something doesn’t work out, its just because something better is coming our way. I would never have got this position if my workplace had easily given me a job, the lack of satisfaction there pushed me to look. Always remember, everything happens for a reason (though the reason won’t be clear until the good stuff happens!).

 

Secondly, I have had two sets of antibiotics since December (something I hate having to have!) and my skin has flared on and off since. My neck is ALWAYS the first and worst! It just gets so hot and itchy I want to scratch it off but if I do, the regret is absolute! It travels down passed my collar bone at times and is red compared to the surrounding normal skin (if you can find it!). It also travels up to my jaw and edges of my face as any of you with face eczema know is not great….my upper lip has also been on/off, My elbow joints play up sporadically, but enough to leave my arms scarred (see images in my previous post “My current skin story in photos…”. My uppers arms tend to get small lumps which I itch and they also scar….now my legs are just a nightmare if I shave!! And even if I don’t shave my thighs have tiny, itchy bumps too….not fun! My eczema has got so bad at times that I have (Yes I feel ashamed…) used steroid. I couldn’t face going to work with facial eczema, I couldn’t face the sleepless, itchy nights where I’d itch myself into a frenzy before bed, I couldn’t face feeling so low about myself when it was so easy to “fix”….but now I’ve realised this is easy, it does “mask” the eczema, but ultimately it will come back. It will come back unless we change whatever is truly causing the eczema….

I also find that steroids darken my skin, Do any of you find this? Another thing that puts me off them as the colour difference is noticeable when people take photos….

 

The reason I posted my images is because this is the one place I feel brave enough to do so….in a sense you don’t know me and at the same time you truly can understand. You have lived with this too, you have experienced just what eczema does to our confidence, our self esteem, our mood….Your comments and posts have made me feel that we can’t and shouldn’t hide our eczema, It causes us more distress and we definitely don’t need that! I also wanted you to see how my eczema looks at a “calmer” (but not satisfied) appearance. At this stage, I’m still itchy…but my sleep is okay and I don’t feel depressed to the extent I want to stay hidden away….and these following things have helped me feel good about myself.

My tips for feeling good when your eczema is calm but still there….

  • Make an effort. You know when you go out for a night out with the girls/boys and you make that extra effort to look good, you feel good too don’t you? Well why don’t we do it more? Make an effort daily. Choose clothes you feel good in, sexy even…if you’re a girl wear some make up (please don’t do this if you’re skin is flared as it will aggravate!) even if it is just mascara and lip balm, style your hair. Making an effort is something I try to do more so that when I do look in the mirror, eczema isn’t the only one staring back at me, instead I see me looking stylish, good, sophisticated…..you get my drift….
  • Take a moment to breathe. Take a few minutes (hopefully a lot longer) to just breathe. To just sit and switch off. No mobile, no laptop, no interference…just you. Reflect on yourself, what you want out of life, if you’re working towards this, are you happy. How do you feel today? Sad, happy? What’s caused it, what could you do to prevent it. Silence and yourself….Tune in to you and what you have to say…
  • Do something you keep mentioning but never get around to. No work, just play. You know those things you’ve always wanted to do but never do. Well do it! I keep mentioning on my blog I’m going to go to the gym, I’m going to go to classes…well finally (yes I’ve taken too long but better late than never?) joined a 6 week yoga class. Something I have wanted to try for so long but never really put the effort in to make happen, I have finally signed up for 6 classes to encourage me to go. Its a 15 minute walk away so some relaxing me time is in order!
  • Count your blessings. When eczema takes over, I am definitely one to fall into my own pity hole…but it’s easy to do…you struggle with something and it just isn’t fair. I don’t take this back as for me personally, eczema is physically and emotionally painful and sometimes we have the right to feel bad. However, when it gets a bit calmer, you get that bit of relief…that’s when you need to take the time to really count your blessings. I count my blessings….my family, my siblings, my boyfriend who always tries to get me to see the bigger picture and tells me eczema doesn’t change the way he feels, my friends, my job, my career progression, my ability to walk, my ability to talk, run, smile, the roof over my head…I watched a documentary the other week where a girl had had acid thrown on her face and to be honest I felt stupid for pitying myself…I empathised with this girl so much…she couldn’t smile, eat properly….things we all have a right to do….
  • Take charge. I relocated for this job (out of the family home) and the independence of getting my own groceries, doing all of my own cooking has favoured me well. No more excuses for why I don’t have any fruit, why I don’t have time to myself…My diet has improved.I eat at least 3 pieces of fruit (which is good for me when it has gone up from 0!) and even get my veg in. I eat fresh meat, potatoes and herbal teas. I still have my chocolates, cookies and normal teas but not excessively. I also manage my time better as it is just around my schedule. I give myself plenty of time for me.

Now this is only a starter….can you guys think of more to add?

 

Just wanted to post an update and to let you all know I’m back 🙂 Sorry for my absence!

 

Comments
7 Responses to “Me, My skin and My Eczema: My updates”
  1. your blog and post is very nice i like it

    Like

  2. this is very nice blog i really like it

    Like

  3. Jen says:

    I read that you’re still using steroids and if you havent seen improvement from your eczema then I think you need to check out this site:

    Itsan.org

    Like

  4. Theresa says:

    I’m not sure where you live but a GREAT way to reduce the itchiness of your eczema is alchaseltzer gold. It is a neutralizer and does wonders for me! Give it a shot!

    Like

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